-
Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
-
Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
-
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
-
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
-
You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
-
You watch the Weather Channel.
-
Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
-
You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
-
Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
-
You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
-
Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
-
You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
-
Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.
-
You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.
-
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
-
You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.
-
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
-
Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle your stomach.
-
You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
-
A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff".
-
You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
-
"I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."
-
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
-
You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
-
You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save Your sorry old ass.